Saturday, February 23, 2013

Run!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now.....
Now, I'm back to UMS
Why?
Well... the real reason I'm here is to run away
If I can count the percentage of how much I want to run away compared to how much I want to study..ermm....maybe 80% of it is to run away.
The urge to run away from home, from Sarawak, is so great that I don't even care to look back anymore? I guess...
Yeah...I'm being selfish, yes, I admit it!
But...
How can I not be selfish when my heart ache every now and then?
How can I not be selfish when I can't even stand to look at people around me anymore?
How can I not be selfish when I can't even stand to listen to people talking about me?
The pain is so severe that I can't even explain it in words...
and the pain is so deep that everytime I think about it, my chest feel heavy and my tears start to fall
Isn't that enough reason to run away?
I've been bearing that pain ever since I finish my study...its been 1 and half year...
and how much longer do I need to bear all that pain?
So...here I am now...running away from all my problems
Loser? Yes, I admit I'm being a loser here.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Wah, lamanya aku x blogging nie.
Ni la manusia, cepat bosan.
Aku xbosan tp xda modal da nie.
Apala yg ada kat seorang 'PENANAM ANGGUR' or mcm yg adik aku ckp 'KETUA KAMPUNG'
Aku xda modal nak tls, xda idea nak serabut kan otak aku....
Apa yg ada juz keluhan dr hari ke hari.
Smakin lma hdp mcm ni, smkn sesak dada n otak...


Aku skrg sesat di dlm terang!
Walau sberapa terang pun jalan di depan ku, aku tetap sesat....

Aku...

Hlg arah,
Hlg panduan,
Hlg pedoman,
Hlg perancangan...

Ke manakah harus ku tuju?
Ke manakah harus ku mlangkah?

Di saat aku mula mlihat scebis cahaya di kjauhan,
Di saat hatiku mula mlonjak klegaan,
Di saat itulah juga harapanku bkecai bak kaca terhempas ke batu....

Harus bagaimanakah ku kutip kaca harapan ku itu tanpa mlukai tanganku?
Harus bagaimanakah ku mula bjalan ke arah cahaya itu sedangkan ianya smakin mhilang dan meninggalkan aku sendirian?

Dan...

Harus bagaimanakah aku mcari di dalam kgelapan?