PENAT........>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Skang nie aku xtau nak wat pe lg nie...
penat aku.......
penat lelong resuma aku sana sini
penat pergi blk pos ofis
penat taip surat
N yg plag penat...
PENAT MENUNGGU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kes nie lg truk dr pas aku f 5 dl.....huhuhu
Mcm nie kot abang aku rasa lok pas grad....
1taun dia dok mcm nie gak......

TOLONG LA WAHAI2 MANUSIA
kami dl blaja susah2 gak
kami usaha gle2 gak nal hbskan blaja
tp skang xkan nie hasil kami blaja kot.............

Opps..............Mana 1 nie?

Dulu2 time kecik2 kita suma mana penah pikir byk2 kan?
Aku la....plg2 pon
Balik skul kalo xda game or latihan sukan trus terjun sungai...men kejar2 tangkap ikan...
xpon men sembunyi2 dalam utan blakang skul...besnyer.......

Time 2 mana penah pikir time besar nnt nak wat pe....nak sbg blaja k x...nak keje apa...
Xtau la aku kalo korg umur 7 8 taun da pikir hal dunia o negara nie...aku maintain j
Tme bpikir juz time wat math (coz aku gla math) n tme exam...pas2 pedulik apa aku nak bpikir lbh2.....

Masuk skul menengah awal2 dl pon aku xpkr pape till la form 3
Besa la 2...form 3 2 kira penentu jalan idup d masa depan...ceh...
Studi gle2 pya gle la tme 2....
Target nak msk klas sains.

Tup2....dpt gak msk...
Masuk la aku kat klas sains tme form 4
Masalahnya....geng2 sklas aku sengal2 la plak.....n mbuatkan aku xjadi bpikir n mrancang masa depan awal2...
Akibatnya....result hancus siketla.....gara2 kurang bpikir..
Pas2....
Masuk form 5 dgn smgt baru la nieh.....
Sma tawaran sbg blaja diisi dgn pnh konfiden...
Studi pon gle2 blk la.......
Plg gle...buku rujukan bio 2 da spi thp nak dtelan cz nak hafal suma fakta2 dlmnya...
Stat dr 2 la minda ini terbuka tuk bpikir sal hal negara....ceh.negara kunun...masa depan bah...

Stat la pkr sal nak msk matriks k amik dploma.....
Pas2 nak sbg mana lg?
Pas pnt bfkr (sbnrnya parents aku yg tlg fkrkan)
Aku msk la matriks n pas2 msk plak UMS.....
Tp kene fkr lg kos mana nak msk.......ughh....

Tme 1 thn kat matriks n 3 thn kat UMS nie la aku stat bahagi otak aku kat 2 choice.....
Tiap2 ari kene wat pilihan..
Klo plh yg 1,yg 1 lg tlepas....n sbaliknya la
Penat dowh....
Susah kan klo kita tpaksa wat pilihan...
Contohnya,even nak bl wafel pon kene pikir...klo aku bl wafel,aku xleh nak bl aiskrim cz tlalu byk snack 4 a day...(sbnrnya blasah gak bl dua2)

Akhirnya abis gak blaja aku n kengkawan aku nie...nak djadikan citer la
Tp citer blom abis lg
Skang nieh kene pikir hal len plak

Ha...nie la benda yg mengusutkan pikiran aku skang nie.....tp xla skusut kawan aku yg len cz ati aku da mula bisik2 ckp xmau keje kerajaan.......hehehe

So,pd mana2 kengkawan aku yg mengalami bende yg sama skang......klo btl korg xdpt nak wat plhn...sila jumpa o kal aku d talian....014-0000000...hehehhe.untuk nasihat n pandangan.
Caj murah akan dkenekan coz ikut harga kawan2 pya.....

Windunyer..............

Its been 2 weeks since I first come 2 STIDC....(with 2 sengal people...Ross n Wan.3)
n I think its been almost 1 month since I last blogging....
No access to internet....lies....no time....lies.....no mood...maybe...

Wan 2 share a bit la bout our 1st day here...
A bit shy (ceh...mcm budak baik plak)
A bit uncomfortable coz d environment is totally diff from school's life....

Nervous(100%) + Blur(100%) + Boring(100%) + Tired(50%)= Uncomfortable(200%) + Complaining(150%)

All three of us is sent to d same bahagian (Pembangunan Sumber) but into diff section n unit.
D 1st week,all we ever did was taking pictures n keep on digesting information provided by our bossess.

I think this is d 1st time tat I ever read n have 2 digest a lot of information in 1 day...quarter of it, d same thing we learnt in SPTA n the other are all new to us....

MIGRAINE.......

2ND week....
D pressure starts...........

Stacks of files........
Lines of numbers.......
A lot of dust..........

Hachoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BRAIN is not functioning soooo well rite now

Above all...
95% of the staff here are all friendly....n really helpful
D remaining 5%,human's nature....being cocky n act big if they are in higher place than others...

D funny thing is....here,we are recognized by our Sabahan slanga...
Boleh bha kalo ko........................

How I miss Sabah n geng2 SPTA

2 Ross n Wan.3:Bertahan....Bertahan....Bertahan

Another Long Journey Comes 2 an End 2

Another page of my story....

After d intro 2 SPTA, my life changed slowly...

Starting 4m my circle of friends,

I think I've made quite a big circle of friend
I've managed 2 widen my world by knowing a lot of people...including their various characteristic,personality n etc....
I've got 2 know who my real friends are,just so2 friends n most of all I've managed 2 c how some people pretend 2 b ur friend but at d end,just a black n stray fox,waiting 4 d rite time 2 catch n bite u 2 pieces...
Thanks 2 all...I've managed 2 experienced all tiz precious n memorable moments..

4
D moments we shared,
D laugh,tears,sweats,fight,quarrel n many more...n even d food n drinks we shared
Through all tiz time...

TQ...

Without all of u,I don't think I can go through all these 3 years all alone...
Without all of u,I don't think I can walk through this path all alone...

A litre of tears can't explain how I feel rite now...

Above all...

All of these will stay deep in my heart n will b kept well as long as I breath

of coz I can't promise tat I still can remember it all if I happen 2 lost my memory but who knows, only God knows what He plans 4 us....

4 my bestest friends:Rose,Afen,Ika,Along,Pat2,Wong,Kahoc,Wen Hong,Clen,Maslizah n Ming Rei...TQ 4 being my best of best friends n 4 being there 4 me when I need o don't need u.hehehe

4 my fellow knights of armor in SPTA:Azira,Syaz,Dayang,Wan,Ilya,Liyana,Wei2,San2 n many3 more,huh...so many la...TQ 4 helping me 2 create a big n beautiful picture of my life in SPTA

4 my lecturers esp:Pn. Hardawati n Miss Maria n all others...TQ 4 being a guidance,a teacher n a leader 2 me....

4 d FOX:TQ cz u've made me experience d bitter n tasteful of life as a person

These are some of our precious moments....

*Credits 2 all d photographers 4 these photos


There's still a long journey awaits in front of us n who knows,by times we will meet n have a good chat in d future..............

Another long journey comes 2 an END...

Its been 3 years since I 1st entered UMS...
It feels like its just been yesterday when I reached UMS at night,taking a long n tired journey all over 4m Kuching 2 KK...
Dragging 2 big bags with me...
All d way up 2 my temporary room at Kg A...
Went through MSM...(A lonely n tiring week)
Been introduced 2 SPTA lecturers n seniors...

Oya,my 1st ever friends in SPTA r' Rosenani (been friend since Form 4),

Shea Chan Loong (whom I called Along cz at 1st I couldn't catch his name properly)

n Leong Siew Fang@Fang2 (still remember her broken BM).(d girl in dark blue shirt)

Used 2 walk all over 4m DKP 2 SPTA cz they hav 2 meet their P.A.(Dr. John)


But...
D real journey started when I went 4 d first field trip with all of d 1st year students 2 Taman Pertanian Sabah, Tenom...(can't find d pictures cz 2 many pictures taken all these years)
That was d first step 4 us 2 mingle around other than doing d field work...
Been in a group mixed with chinese n indian girls n guys
(D concept of 1Malaysia haven't been introduced at tat time but in SPTA U can c it)
Can mixed well with all of them was 1 of d bonus living in UMS as SPTA student

I am not a person 2 mingle around n b friendly at a short time...
I rather sit n talk only when I was asked cz I don't want people 2 hav bad 1st impression bout me...
Other reasons: I tend 2 b too comfortable 2 speak when I feel that, that person is interesting 2 talk 2...

Our journey continued with Family Camp....
held by SPTA staffs n seniors 4 d juniors
When I 1st heard bout it, I feel really bad...
I hate d concept where seniors r' given chance 2 torture n bully their juniors...
But...
Now I know d meaning behind this
Family Camp is not just 2 bully n torture juniors just like what I used 2 think of
It was a way 2 get 2 know your seniors,SPTA staffs n d real meaning of Forestry
It is an introduction 2 all juniors 2 get ready n open their hearts toward Forestry
It was fun actually...
U hav d chance 2 know ur fellow friends,seniors,
U can experience d life in d forest,
U can learn how 2 survive in d forest,
U can learn how 2 respect people,etc

1 thing I really can't 4get bout our Family Camp...
D nite when all of us was forced 2 get in2 d river at 2-3am in d morning (It was said tat 'Kena Rendam' is d tradition in SPTA) 4 about 5-10 minutes while singing our hearts loud
B4 tat all of us was seated on d wet n cold ground...
Where all of d facilitators yelled at us without reasons...(Still their yelling voice can't fight our sleepiness,most of us got yelled at cz we fall asleep while waiting 4 d highlight of d night)
It was really5 a mind n body torture 2 all of us
Tat was d 1st time I ever cried because I can't feel anything anymore
It was like all ur tiredness,sleepiness n all d 'ness' gone
Juz d feelings of hatred towards seniors reach their maximum level
I almost died of cold after that...cz I really can't stand being cold

N'

1 person I can't get out of my hatred towards him...
A senior called Jack...
He had been so sarcastic 2 me cz I didn't get massaged at my neck 4m d back by d person sitting at my back (coincidentally it was Rose) as requested
'Kamu,kenapa kamu xmau kena urut?Geli ka?Kalo geli mari sini saya tolong urutkan!'
Yo...I really can't get a massaged esp at my neck area cz it will end up swelling!
4m tat moment,I really can't face him cz everytime I c him,I feel like punching him at his neck
Watcha...

Above all...tat was my 1st interesting n long journey in these 3 years

2 b continued...

wat to do?

It's been quite some time since I last blogging
Sooooo buzy with everything
with a lot going on around me, I can really feel my head working like a machine
Arggghhhhhhhh...........
Almost everyday I got headache ;(
plus less sleep ^^
plus lot of thinking **
about yesterday...2day and...2morrow

Wat have I done with my life for the past 21 years? @@
Wat am I doing rite now? ##
Wat will I do in the future? $$

There's always ????? appearing in my head

Wat to do??
Wat can I do??
Wat will I do??

Wish life can b a bit easier so I can live my life peacefully
BUT
Wat is life without problem, rite?
NO FUN man...

The picture hanging beside here is a picture of my fellow frenzy happy faces, after a lot of thorn and tear, joy and laugh, hoping to graduate tiz year....
Goodddddd Luckkkkkkkkkkkk 2 all of us!!!!!!!!!!!

Discouraged feeling.........

I dunno for how long or how many times I have been discouraged by others when I' m really into something.
That feeling is really like you are being left in a desert all alone with nothing but just with a bottle of water.
If you gonna drink that water all at once,you will die of thirst later but if you gonna drink it sip by sip,it will surely make you feel more thirsty.

So how to handle this matter?

Just try to put yourself into my situation,when you are really eager or interested in doing something,suddenly someone say 'Are you sure?' or 'Do whatever you want lah...'
Or when you sincerely or hopefully anticipating some kind of good reaction or idea from someone,he/she just slightly shrug his/her shoulder.
That s**** man.
The mood will flew out and the soul will be drawn out from your body.
Or something more like when you really need help and you are asking nicely to someone,he/she will just get up and walk with you without saying anything but later he/she will show some dissatisfaction or uninterested mood to you literally,what will that makes you look like?

I'm like a fool..........I dunno where my home is..........

Being a fool is not a cherish moment in anybody's life
So,don't turn someone into a fool coz later when you are in the same situation,you will definitely REGRET it......

D WORST Dinner ever........

Like wat d title says up there ^ last nite was t worst dinner I ever went 2.
Haiya............
Wat a waste.....of my money,time,energy and last minute effort.
Is tis wat they all called d 'Malam Pra-Graduan & Anugerah'?
Better they called it 'Malam Pra-Sekolah & Anugerah'

D management...huh.....nothing more 2 say la......Just imagine an event tat was conducted by a Form 1 student..................so......childish..............
D dinner tentative.......huh.....waste of time
D hall setup,......d guest almost gone deaf with an extra super loud speaker,placed in a small hall.....
D speech.......cause a loud laugh with a lot of 'tatabahasa' error.....plus d 'Ketua Pengarah, dress didn't match with d colour code.....Malunyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A fresh image of their usherette comes in my mind......
You are standing on d stage 4 d whole nite n wat are you thinking of wearing a short n fit dress like tat?????????
Cuci mata dowh/////////
D food...............haiya....D BIGGEST PROBLEM.........taste like BTC left-overs from lunch time......RM55 for nothing........
D most shocking part is when d mc said '2 all that got no anugerah 2nite,nevermind.Don't lose ur hope. U still can try next year,if not just EXTEND.' WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where d hell did you learn 2 say tat things in front of your pre-graduated seniors??????????
Wah.........these are not just all....a lot more 2 say but it's just gonna waste my time n energy 2 type it down..........


The only best part is.....d sporting characteristic of 3rd year students....
A big round of applause 2 us...hehehe
If the management team can't make us feel the joy of the nite,we just create it ourself lo.....
And d credit also goes 2 d lecturers........they all tried to cheer us all from their performances..........SPTA lecturers really ROCK!!!!

These are some pictures of d nite...........d 3rd year students la...
It not like every day you can see we all dress up like this...
Especially me la......only once a year if really necessary

Kemesraan Dulu......

Macam crita nostalgik la plak nie.........
Sikit la kot...
Kita baca lok lirik lagu nie..
Lagu yang akan menceritakan suma rasa kemesraan suatu ketika dahulu tapi sudah hilang bersama-sama waktu yang blalu


Kemesraan
Iwan Fals


Suatu hari
Dikala kita duduk ditepi pantai
Dan memandang
Ombak dilautan yang kian menepi

Burung camar
Terbang bermain diderunya air
Suara alam ini
Hangatkan jiwa kita

Sementara
Sinar surya perlahan mulai tenggelam
Suara gitarmu
Mengalunkan melodi tentang cinta

Ada hati
Membara erat bersatu
Getar seluruh jiwa
Tercurah saat itu

Kemesraan ini
Janganlah cepat berlalu
Kemesraan ini
Ingin kukenang selalu

Hatiku damai
Jiwaku tentram disampingmu
Hatiku damai
Jiwaku tentram bersamamu

Bersamamu


Sedih lak ku baca
Lagu nie da kaitan ngan kisah hidupku suatu ketika dahulu..
Kemesraan yang telah blalu tidak akan dapat kembali lagi walaupun air mata darah ku ingin gantikan dengannya...

I hate it when I was...

I hate it when I was......
...uncomfortable about something...
...not thinking things straight...
...doubting about something...
...forced to do something I hate...
...forced to love something I hate...
...provoked to do something I’m not interested in...
...challenged to do something I’m don’t want to...
...being eyed-out when I’m not interested in that thing...
...being sharp-tongue at when I’m not at mood...
...being looked-down by someone...
...humiliated in front of strangers...
...being doubted by the one I’m close to...
...being misunderstood by somebody I close with...
...being cast aside when I don’t know what I’ve been doing wrong...
...being left-out in the dark by the one I’m close to...
...being the black sheep in a group...
BUT...
Above all,
I hate it when I was being stabbed by my own friends...

Ouch...
That hurts man
I really HATE when I was in that situation...

How to escape from that situation?
How to prevent it from ever happens again?
How to demolish it from my life?

The scars will always be here...in my heart even if time flew by....
It will always bleed again even when I lost my memory...

My PersonaLity tRaits

MONTH (SEPTEMBER)

GOOD
-Intellectual
-A master of communication
-Always combine logic and intuition in dealing with life in general
-Astrologically, classified as the “perfectionists”
-Inherited a powerful investigative mind that could lead you to science, chemicals, research, radio, television, newspaper reporting, computer programming and the law

BAD
-Very critical and picky
-Tend to work too hard
-Downfall is sarcasm and an overly concerned attitude with trivial matters
-Some overwhelmed with health matters and turn into health lunatics
-Prone to headaches or head injury, eye and sinus problems
-Prone to poisoning and are strongly advised to keep away from alcohol and narcotics

Zodiac (Virgo)

GOOD
-Has guts and lots of them!
-Has quite a determination and can do anything if she sets her mind to it
-Stickler for time
-Taste is very good and intellect quite developed
-Very much attached to the ground and prefer to live in the real world
-Very good with finances and extravagance is not one in the personality traits
-Doesn’t need a man to take care of her, she takes care of herself
-Has a clear thinking and usually knows what she wants
-Hate hypocrisy
-Cannot stand public displays of affection
-Has all the charms and tricks that any other female has, but not weak
-Completely devoted and loyal in a relationship
-Will become exceedingly strong when you need support
-With kids, very considerate
-Truth is indeed beautiful
-Holds love in the highest place and can do anything for true love

BAD
-Will demand total perfection
-Very hard to accept that she is wrong
-Prone to worrying about things too much and will do others’ job too
-If a relationship doesn't seems to be working, will severe all the ties and become as cold as the North Pole
-Will not break the new, expensive vase when upset, but can be very demanding and fussy
-Very sensitive and feelings are pretty fragile
-Virgo women's characteristics profile is an odd mix of emotions and practicality, romance and common sense
-Cannot tolerate someone using abusive language, coming late, dressing sloppily, not minding table manners, etc
-Even though a Virgo woman is very critical, she will not take criticism very nicely

Blood Type (B)

GOOD
-Goal oriented
-Strong minded
-Will start a task and continue it until completed, and completed well
- Tend to be curious and interested in everything
-Passionate
-Optimistic
-Flexible
-Empathetic
-Individualists of the blood group categories and find their own way in life
-Tend to be balanced: thoughtful like A’s and yet ambitious like O’s
-Easily understand others’ points of view
-Considered more relaxed, freewheeling, and unconventional than other types, although not necessarily to an unacceptable degree
- Lean to have many hobbies

BAD
-Forgetful
-Self-centered
- Often hesitating to challenge or confront
-Pay attention to their thoughts a little more than their feelings, and therefore can sometimes seem cold and serious
-Look cheerful, enthusiastic, and bright but they are actually not like their appearances
-Antisocial with many people
-Rugged individualists who are straightforward and like to do things their own way
-If interested in something, will be buoyant, but unfortunately will be bored fast